Rikke and Morten's crazy, brilliant idea has brought their blended family closer together

Why did you decide to buy a vacation home?

For us, it was just a completely crazy gamble—we had no idea whether we’d actually like having a summer house or if we were more into traveling the world together. I just think we both needed something different to happen, even though we were still relatively new as a couple. We were both living in apartments, far apart from each other, and we just thought, “How bad could it be?” The place was really cheap, it was right in the middle between where we lived, and it felt like a place where we could meet halfway. Looking back on it now, we had absolutely no idea just how brilliant a decision it actually was for us—both as a couple and as a blended family with so many adult children. It’s really been amazing to discover what it meant for us.

> Looking back on it, we had absolutely no idea just how brilliant a decision it actually was for us—both as a couple and as a blended family with so many adult children.

You mentioned that you hadn’t been together very long when you bought the summer house. Has life at the summer house taught you anything new about each other?

We’re both interested in the outdoors, in building and creating, in transforming things and making things with our hands. We didn’t want to jump into buying a huge house—you probably wouldn’t do that if you had even a slight, nagging uncertainty about whether the relationship could withstand the time apart—so the summer house felt like such a low-risk choice. We figured we’d probably be able to get past that. Even though we shared the same interests, we hadn’t tried living together as a couple—building together, cooking together, and spending time with all those kids, who are also very different. We discovered that we could easily do all of that without getting tired of each other, bored, or annoyed. We hadn’t tried living our daily lives together before, but that’s what we did at the summer house. It became a sort of training ground for us as a couple. :images[items="[{"url": "/stories/family/rikkeogmorten/IMG_0097.JPG", "alt": ""}, {"url": "/stories/family/rikkeogmorten/IMG_0098.JPG", "alt": ""}]"]

Now, that means we love that summer house so incredibly much, because it gave us the chance to realize that we could do this together. We’ve become a really good couple, we’ve become really good friends, and we’ve gotten really good at spending time with each other’s kids, too. It became a place where we could both figure out how to do a whole lot of things and a place where we could just sit and dream together.

> It became a place where we could both figure out how to do all sorts of things and a place where we could just sit and dream together.

What has a shared summer house meant to you as a family?

For us, as adults, it meant we had a shared space that served as our base. There’s a tremendous amount of uncertainty involved in being in a relationship when one partner has to work far away for a long time. Could the relationship even survive him being away like that? The vacation home became a kind of commitment for us—it gave us a sense of having something in common, even though he was far away and I was right here. That way, we had something to share when he was home, too.

I also asked the kids, and they said they’d been able to get to know each other on neutral ground. Everyone had time off when we were at the summer house, so no one was rushing in and out. It was peaceful and quiet, and we were able to get to know each other through shared activities. We didn’t have internet or TV, so we played ladder golf, poker, built bonfires, or went out fishing. The kids say it was a great experience because we were in a place where we all had an equal say. There was no way to hide, so they also actively chose to participate once they arrived at the summer house. Here, you can’t just hide in your room and opt out of things.

Has the summer house become a gathering place?

When we bought the summer house, it wasn’t our intention for it to be a place that brought us together the way it has. I think the feeling that no one is invading anyone’s home or personal space has been really good for us. We needed a place where we could get together and try things out. Both we and the kids have been able to put our own stamp on the summer house, and everyone has been involved in making decisions: should we have a sauna or a wilderness bath? In the end, the majority voted for the wilderness bath. “Should we build a shelter now, or is it the sauna’s turn?” Most votes went to the shelter. Because we’ve made the decisions together, no one here is just a guest. It’s our place, and everyone has a say.

So yes, absolutely. It’s become a gathering place. We’ve formed some working groups, and everyone has had a hand in it. I’m not sure we could have done this with a brand-new summer house that was ready to move into right away. All the kids know where the key is, and they come up here with their friends, hang out, and cook. They help out when we have guests at the cottage, so I’m sure they feel like it’s theirs, too. But of course, there was no way for us to know it would turn out this way, and I’m just really grateful that this is the reality.

> That quiet peace in the early morning and the feeling that I have the whole day ahead of me is absolutely fantastic.

Do you go the extra mile to make sure everyone’s happy when you’re all together?

In a way, yes, we do. But we talk a lot about how that’s just part of the package. Our kids are between 19 and 31 years old, and despite their age, they’ll sometimes just sit down when they come home to Mom and Dad. Then we cook dinner, remind them to take their things to their rooms, and tell them to clean up after themselves. We laugh at them so much because it’s as if they’re kids again, even though they’re adults. And on the other hand, they also pitch in and do things on their own. They take the initiative to cook or go grocery shopping. I think there’s a good balance, but I also have to admit that we probably aren’t interested in not going the extra mile for them. I myself loved being able to act like a kid when I visited my parents, and that’s something we want to pass on to our own children. We enjoy that they feel this place is their home and that they can relax when they’re here. We give them the chance to spend time together, and it’s not like we’re rushing around trying to wait on them hand and foot. We also share the chores, and even though we might be a little tired when we head home, it’s more than made up for by how cozy and enjoyable our time together has been. We leave feeling like it’s been absolutely fantastic, and most of all, it’s about giving our little, wonderful, and quirky family a gift.

Do you feel like your summer house has a warm, welcoming atmosphere?

I think it does, because it’s also become a gathering place for my friends. This is where we get together. My friends ask, “Isn’t it about time for a trip to the summer house?” And even though one of my friends has bought a vacation home in the same area, we still meet at ours. Theirs is bigger and more luxurious, but it’s as if our place has just become the place where we are. If I have to work, they just head up there and get everything ready for the weekend, and then I join them later. It’s so cozy that it can be that way. It also means there are a lot more of us looking out for it, because the people around us feel like it’s theirs, too. It’s easier to ask for help with the practical stuff when they’ve been to the summer house themselves and spent time there.

I can really sense that there’s something truly special about summer house life. But what do you love most about being at the summer house?

There’s just peace, light, tranquility, and coffee. That’s what I love about the summer house. We have a fantastic wooded garden, and magically, there’s always shade here. I absolutely love the morning hours, when the light streams into the living room and you look out into the garden, the woods, and the sun behind the trees. I brew my coffee, slip into my slippers or rubber boots, and step out onto the patio. I take my coffee with me as I wander through the garden, out onto the paths, down the gravel road, turn left—and then I’m standing on the beach. That quiet stillness of the early morning and the feeling that I have the whole day ahead of me are absolutely wonderful. Then I look forward to doing absolutely nothing, having guests over, or having the chance to start a project of one kind or another. I often intend to do absolutely nothing, but then I end up restoring a piece of furniture or going to a flea market to buy something to hang up.

Of course, I also love the evening—it gets incredibly dark here, so we have a Dark Sky certification. It’s so beautiful when the sky is starry. The owls live right in the forest next door, and it’s really fun to listen to them. So we sit there under the heat lamp, enjoy a glass of wine, and listen to their chatter. We chat about everything under the sun and end the day with a sense of togetherness. It’s so simple and yet so amazing: there’s a campfire, a wilderness bath, good wine, and plenty of coffee. What more could you ask for?

> There’s something incredibly wonderful about realizing that you have the energy to give each other attention and care about each other’s well-being, precisely because you’re feeling good yourself.

It sounds like you embrace the simple life when you’re out there?

Yeah, well, it often ends up being very simple. We do love to cook, but it usually ends up being just really simple. I completely unwind when I’m there, and if it’s been a busy week, Friday can’t come fast enough so I can head out again. If I can stretch it out so I don’t have to go home until Monday morning, I’m happy to do that.

When I look back on our best memories from the summer house, it’s especially the holidays that come to mind. The summer house provides the setting for those times when it can be difficult to be a blended family. So we make apple fritters over the campfire and drink mulled wine outside; some people play games, others go for a walk. We feel connected, even though we’re doing different things. One of the absolute best parts is, of course, being able to spoil each other. Like making a drink for those in the wilderness bath, just because you feel like it. There’s something incredibly wonderful about realizing that you have the energy to give each other attention and care about each other’s well-being, simply because you’re feeling good yourself.